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Waiting sucks
Saturday, November 03, 2007
There's been some optimistic comments on FRUA about the next batch of accreditations and I really really hope they are true and things work out quickly for the next group of agencies. I had posted a little over a month ago that it looked promising for the next group and of course nothing happened. And that outcome really made me feel bad. Oh sure, I had plenty of those posts when we were waiting for our agency to get accredited but it didn't bother me so much when they turned out to be a false positive because, hey, we were waiting too. And so we personally were suffering.

But in this case I feel like I was tossing fuel on the fire of a false rumor. What's worse is that it's unclear how many agencies will actually even get accredited since the list of agencies on this next batch doesn't seem that large for the amount of time all the agencies have been waiting. And it does not seem to be getting any bigger. Now BIG WARNING here. I'm just piecing this together from rumor mill on FRUA and may be completely incorrect. But the part I find troubling or odd at the very least is that this postulated pool of agencies in the next batch is not getting any bigger.

And that was in part why I made that post a few weeks ago implying that sometimes it's the right time to make a switch (it was also prompted by Debbie's move to domestic adoption and Dede's move to a new agency). But I'm most shocked when Stef has me read some of these comments on FRUA about people who are just starting out in the adoption process and they intentionally select an agency that is unaccredited basically saying how they "hope" they will be accredited soon.

Of course the choice of an agency is pretty personal and there are good reasons to choose any of the agencies out there, but that's almost criminal. I wonder if the folks who are making these decisions going with an unaccredited agency are basing (at least some of that decision) on those buoyant outlooks people are posting about their agency being part of the next wave and that it's "right around the corner". It scares me a bit to think that folks feel those comments on FRUA are more fact than hopeful aspirations (and unfortunately they're really more the latter).

Having suffered with the agony of waiting, I cannot stress the importance of being with an accredited agency. If you're already with an agency that's a different decision (switching I mean). But if you are just starting your adoption, and for your own mental health, please at least consider choosing an agency that is already accredited. You will have a multitude of waiting for oh so many other reasons, adding an additional wait is just not wise. If you're in the U.S. there are something like 13 agencies who are already accredited and if you cannot find one you like, well maybe you're not looking hard enough. Now if some agencies do get accredited within the next week then by all means you should add those to your list of potentials. But you really need a darn good reason to intentionally go after an agency that may get accredited. Believe me when I say this...waiting sucks!
posted by Steveg @ 1:35 AM  
  • At 4:28 AM, Blogger kate said…

    yes!!! don't choose an agency unless it is accredited. the fourth batch could come soon or could take ages.

    my agency is one of the third-batchers. they've *just* let us know that issues are sorted and they expect accred in the next two weeks or so. fingers crossed...

    with the new un-ending accred, i second your advice to choose an accredited agency. i would also encourage pap's to not rely simply on accred status and to really explore those agencies well for a best fit.

    i specifically chose an agency that was accredited and had a good reputation. they answered my questions thoughtfully and responded immediately to e-mails.

    BUT, as soon as i signed, that stopped. they revealled themselves to be...unprofessional. BE CAREFUL! that said, there really is nothing more i feel i could have done to learn this. apparently, there have been some big changes at the agency that happened about the time i signed. since this is a small agency, those changes had a big impact.

    in retrospect, i'd choose a large agency over a small one. i thought i'd receive more, personal attention at a small agency. now, i think that a large, efficient agency trumps small and intimate ten times over.

  • At 4:29 AM, Blogger kate said…

    wow--sorry to highjack your entire comments...

  • At 5:46 AM, Anonymous Ktates said…

    I'm just catching up on your last few blog posts and I second what you say about people should go with an accredited agency. I think most agencies really did believe that the next batch was right around the corner and they were all wrong - welcome to the world of Russian adoption!

    On your post about kids tv - we didn't allow it younger than 2 either but Wiggles was a defnite no no for us. Can't stand them - check out Noggin - they have a lot of great stuff for kids that is parent bearable - Backyardigans/Jack's music show are 2 favorites here..oh and there's pbs kids too - Jakers is funny just listening to the accents - so you may want to check them out too....We actually spent a lot of our time people watching on our trip - DD was fascinated with everything so we would just sit in the lobby or walk around and she would check everything out...

    Keeping fingers crossed for a court date soon!

  • At 7:52 AM, Blogger Dede said…

    I agree with your advice completely on not starting off with an agency unless it is accredited. We heard "next month is looking good" for accreditaton for about 16 months with our old agency and none of them turned out to be the "good" month.

    I'm not sure that it matters whether your agency is large or small. Sounds like there could be potential problems with either. Ours was one of the large ones and I felt like we were lost in the paper shuffle over there.

    The only other advice I would tell those starting out is to consider other countries as well. With all the beaucratic problems there have been during our wait, I sometimes wonder if the Russia program will continue.

    Waiting does SUCK!

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    Hope something happens soon. Waiting is so hard!

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I'm Steve and this is my wife Stefanie. This is our story, mostly seen through my eyes, of the journey to create our family by adopting a child from Russia.

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