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| Don't think too much |
| Monday, February 26, 2007 |
As most readers know I'm pretty patient with the whole adoption process. This is a bit of a contrast from my attitude towards waiting for anything in day to day living (I despise waiting in lines in stores, etc.). Ironically I think that most people who are actually very patient people normally get quite flustered during the adoption process. I suppose it's because one of the most difficult things to do is formulating in your mind what is really going on during the various steps. Often (as there is now for us and many others) there are long periods of time when apparently nothing is going on.
Maybe, like now, you're waiting for some government office to authorize the continuation of adoptions. During those times is hard sometimes to comprehend why things aren't moving faster. It's often easy to blame the workers at the government department for trying to delay adoptions or some other far-fetched idea.
But the reality in nearly all these lapses is merely the fact that there's a lot of plain old fashion bureaucracy going on. And most of the worker bees (and leadership for that matter) of bureaucratic organizations work at the same pace whether the job is sorting mail or trying to help get orphans a forever family. It's hard for individuals who are hoping to become parents of a little child to think that anyone could just shuffle paperwork along as a regular job when little human beings are the underlying commodity.
However the people who are working in the adoption field are doing thousands upon thousands of adoptions. Although I am sure they are in fact very concerned with helping the children, when you deal with that many adoptions it must be very hard if not impossible to get emotional (as we potential parents do).
It's hard to do, but it's important to have some sense that work is getting done but like a great many things in life, it takes time. And anytime you start to imagine "why" something is happening the way it is and what motives may be behind it, just put yourself in their shoes and think about it as if this was your job and not a deeply emotional experience. |
posted by Steveg @ 10:19 AM  |
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| 1 Comments: |
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I remember how difficult it is while waiting, especially for those between referral and court (we spent 9 months that way). I wanted to pick apart every word of everything I read or heard. But in the end, as you say, it is just people getting work done. Despite all of the speculation (even by the agency personnel), things tend to happen in their own time.
Good for you for being patient.
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I'm Steve and this is my wife Stefanie. This is our story, mostly seen through my eyes, of the journey to create our family by adopting a child from Russia.
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"The two greatest obstacles to democracy in the United States are, first, the widespread delusion among the poor that we have a democracy, and second, the chronic terror among the rich, lest we get it."
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I remember how difficult it is while waiting, especially for those between referral and court (we spent 9 months that way). I wanted to pick apart every word of everything I read or heard. But in the end, as you say, it is just people getting work done. Despite all of the speculation (even by the agency personnel), things tend to happen in their own time.
Good for you for being patient.